Verses four and five of Psalm 141 talk about faithful friends, friends who are there when we fall or when we sin. These are friends who can help pick us back up and help us get on our feet again spiritually. When we think of a faithful friend, we usually think of someone who will be there for us no matter what, someone who won’t leave us when we are in trouble. We think of someone who listens and cares. All these things are characteristics of faithful friends. But the Bible gives another characteristic of faithful friends which we do not often think of. Faithful friends are there to pick us up when we fall. When we do wrong, they do not say, “O that dirty rascal. I didn’t know he/she was like that. Well, I can’t hang around with them anymore.” No. They stop to tell us, “Look, that was wrong. That is why you are down. Here is my hand. I will help you back up.” Ecclesiastes 4:9,10 says, “9) Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. 10) For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up.” Thankfully, those of us who know the Lord have a Friend to help us up. Even if we have no earthly friends, we have the Friend that sticks closer than a brother. That Friend is Jesus. But it is still good to have godly friends among Christian brothers and sisters, and it is good to be a godly friend.
What should we do if a brother or sister in Christ sins, or what should they do for us if we sin? If a Christian sins and does not seem to realize it or does not want to face their sin, another brother or sister in Christ should help lift that person back up. If a Christian is about to make a choice that will send them down the wrong path, another brother or sister should warn that person. This is to be done in a spirit of meekness and kindness. Galatians 6:1,2 says, “1) Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted. 2) Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ.”
How does a faithful friend help their brother or sister when that brother or sister has sinned? Psalm 141:5 says, “Let the righteous smite me; it shall be a kindness: and let him reprove me; it shall be an excellent oil, which shall not break my head: for yet my prayer also shall be in their calamities.” Now this verse does not mean that a person should literally smite or hit another person who has sinned. Rather, it means to address the sin in that person’s life. When God gave the law to the children of Israel, He said, “…thou shalt in any wise rebuke thy neighbour, and not suffer sin upon him.” (Leviticus 19:7b) They were not to allow their neighbor to continue walking in sin but were to rebuke him. As it said in Galatians 6:1,2, this rebuke should be given in a spirit of meekness. The person who wants to restore their friend should be mindful that everyone can sin, even himself. Rebuke is done to help bear the other’s burden and pick them back up, not to tear them down.
Proverbs 27:5,6 teaches, “5) Open rebuke is better than secret love. 6) Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.” When someone approaches you to tell you that you have sinned, this does not feel good. It hurts. It is as if the person is hitting you and giving you a wound. But this wound is meant to keep you from hurt and harm. Proverbs 20:30 explains, “The blueness of a wound cleanseth away evil.”
When rebuke is given to us, it hurts; but, if we take heed to that rebuke, the results are wonderful. Proverbs 25:12 draws this word picture, “As an earring of gold, and an ornament of fine gold, so is a wise reprover upon an obedient ear.” It is not always easy to listen to rebuke. I know I often push back against it. I do recall one time in my life though where the warning of godly friends kept me from a situation, the consequences of which could have negatively impacted the rest of my life. In this case, I had not sinned, but their words kept me from making a very unwise choice that would have been harmful and could have led down a wrong path. I am still grateful to those friends today.
When a friend has stuck by us and helped us up, what should be our response? David told what his response would be. If he saw his friends in trouble, he would pray for them and would speak kindly to them. His words would be gracious and uplifting. “…my prayer also shall be in their calamities. When their judges are overthrown in stony places, they shall hear my words; for they are sweet.” (Psalm 141:6) When you stumble or fall doing wrong and someone helps you up, take time to thank them today. You might not get a chance later. Be sure to pray for them, especially if they are in any trouble of their own. The friends I mentioned above that helped me are no longer walking with the Lord and we no longer have that sweet friendship. It is important to take godly advice from a faithful friend as from the Lord and then to hold that friend up before the Lord because that friend can fall too. Satan is like a roaring lion seeking whom he may devour. Pray that those you love will not be devoured by him. And thank the Lord for those who have prayed for you and helped you so that you are not devoured of him. Then lean your trust on the most faithful Friend, the one who will never fall, the one who will always stick closer than a brother. Lean your trust on Jesus.